Tag Archives: Atheism

What Would Arianny Do?

BAKER STREET

by Eric J Baker

A big PFC thank you to the hardworking law-enforcement officers of Clark County, Nevada for arresting UFC octagon girl Arianny Celeste on domestic battery charges this weekend. If not for that event, what the hell would we have for a lead image? Tommy Lee Jones cashing another paycheck?

Arianny Celeste, future dominatrix

The arrest might be a good career move for Ms. Celeste if Internet-user comments can be viewed as a legitimate tool for market research. It seems that millions of men out there are eager to pay top dollar for a savage beating at the hands of the former Playboy model. Ah, America, land of conservative values and Puritanism.

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Saint Dexter

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES

by James Killough

Unless you get regular industry updates sent to your smartphone as I do, or you follow the cancellations and renewals of premium cable shows, it’s unlikely you noticed that Dexter, a show about the serial killer of serial killers, was renewed for another two seasons, bringing the total to eight.

Our Psychopath, who art in heaven.

This is a lot of bodies, lakes of blood.  Who knew that Miami, where the show takes place, was such a haven for the murderous sociopath.  I thought it was all Shriekin’ Ricans and Gloria Estefan’s rain-drenched, coke-fueled dream of a Tel Aviv serviced by Cubans.  Almost makes me glad to be making my exit on Wednesday back to LA.

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Karma Cola

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES

by James Killough

I was sent an article the other day by Rain Li’s boyfriend, Forest Liu.  I think Forest is fantastic, and hope that, if or when Rain is done with him, she’ll pass him along to me.  There aren’t many leftover dumplings I would eat from Rain Li’s dim sum brunch, but Forest is definitely one of them.

The New York Times article is about its author going to Cheyenne, Wyoming to meet his friend and former colleague, reformed gay activist Michael Glatze, now an ex-Ghey evangelical.  It’s a long piece, so I’ll let you read it here at your leisure.

Michael Glatze in more miserable times (left) with his boyfriend, and now happy as a clam with a new companion, the Bible. You'll be back, baby. You'll be back.

In a nut’s shell, because such things are completely nutty, Glatze has abandoned cock worship for Bible worship, which says everything about religion right there, in a nutshell.  Continue reading

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God On A Wheel!

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES | THE INDIA FILES

by James Killough

Dear Easter Bunny,

You’ve always been my favorite of the fictional characters I was asked to believe in without question from childhood.  As an adult, I admire how humbly and stoically you have endured under the shadow of that fat bitch Santa Claus over the centuries.  You are a testament to how cute ultimately triumphs over gluttony with the right amount of tenacity.

I had the strangest dream this morning.  Betty White was married to my father or some other amorphous patriarchal member of my family, and we belonged to some hyper-conservative, super-slick country club.  Betty got very drunk and loud, so I admonished her for making a fool of the family in front of the rest of the club and threw her glass of champagne in the pool.  I woke up full of remorse for how I’d treated her, for being so bourgeois in my dreams when I am so not in waking life.  I felt like writing her an apology note and sending it to her agent.  The truth is I rather like drunk, loud, bat-shit-crazy old women, like Royce and Marilyn. Royce’s favorite exclamation is from whence comes the title of this post:

They say that every character in your dreams is really a variation on you.  Obviously I need to get in touch with my inner Betty White and ask her forgiveness instead of sending an apology note.

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