Tag Archives: Beverly HIlls

Thai One On In Milan

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

I have to admit that, other than the cover of People in the checkout line, I haven’t been keeping up with this season of The Bachelorette on ABC.  Honestly, it’s usually not as much fun as The Bachelor because the contestants are straight guys and straight guys tend to get along, pat each other on the back and say supportive things.  The ladies on The Bachelor, on the other hand, are more likely to argue, stab each other in the back and pull hair.  Or maybe I’m thinking of Mob Wives.

If you watch it the right way, boxing is really gay porn.

As I turned on the television the other night, some hunky shirtless guys in boxing gear were fighting it out in a picturesque boxing ring in an exotic Asian locale.  It may have looked like a straight person’s idea of a gay porn movie but this was actually The Bachelorette and the guys whaling on each other were those straight guys that I’d normally expect to be getting along so well.  Of course, I had to rewind to the beginning and, when I learned that they had taken the whole thing to the beautiful temple-filled city of Chiang Mai in Thailand, I thought, “What better way to honor a beautiful city and its ancient culture than to plop down and bunch of douchebags and tape a reality show?”  You’re welcome, Thailand! Continue reading

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Even Mob Wives Wear Lanvin

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Mob Wives?  Let me tell you, that is some serious shit.  I can’t believe I only caught the last fifteen minutes of the premiere episode.  Too many mimosas at brunch caused a glitch in my internal reality television clock that would normally alert me that it was on.  It was still long enough to know that these girls ain’t playin’.

The feral molls in fur from "Mob Wives" proudly rule the Staten Island boardwalk, while Lady Liberty quivers in the background.

When I tuned in, the ladies were in the midst of getting ready for Carla’s birthday party.  Though Renee looks a bit like a linebacker in an Anna May Wong wig, she informs us that she likes “getting dressed up, the glitz, the glamour, the high heels, the best of everything!”  We hear these words as she’s zipping up some black vinyl boots (two inch heels max!) and tying a big sparkly crystal necklace over what appears to be a purple sweatshirt from Wal-Mart.  I must say her eye shadow matches the sweatshirt perfectly. Continue reading

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