Ho Down in Dallas

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by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

You were probably as eager as I was for this week’s premiere of Bravo’s Most Eligible Dallas, even with its clunky title.  Unfortunately, the pompous, self-important silliness in the introductory monologues makes about as much grammatical sense.  Within the first two minutes, resident ladies’ man Matt introduces himself with these memorable lines:  “If you want to hate on me for, uh, being a, duh, single guy…twenty-eight, uh…in town?  Fine, do it!”  What the hell?  No, Matt, people aren’t “hating on you” for being single or being twenty-eight.  They hate you for being a dick.  Also, your eyebrows are too far apart.  They might hate you for that, too.

Not a cast member. Unfortunately.

The other cast members don’t fare much better.  Glenn is a football player with an amazing body and a not-so-amazing face who, he tells us, has so much testosterone coursing through him that he can’t watch Family Feud with his mom without getting an erection.  Ick.  And Courtney looks like one of the big Kardashians—you know how Kardashians come in small and large sizes—and makes up words like “incestual.” 

Pumped Up Kicks

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Gentle reader,

I’ve taken the title of this article from my favorite song of the moment by Foster the People.  If you live anywhere but Los Angeles, you probably had it on your iPod all last summer.   Due to the dearth of good radio stations here, we’re a little late on the indie musical uptake, so the fact that I’ve known about it a couple of months makes me an early adopter.

How to make sure your shoes match your outfit.

You’ll see why I chose the title later but, first, I was catching up with a Style Network show that I haven’t seen in a while because I can rarely find the Style Network in the cable lineup.