by James Killough
There are a few things I just don’t get about popular culture, but which most people seem to go bat shit about. One is Michael Jackson. I never got him. I hate his voice, it sounds creepy; he is one of two people who will cause me to change the channel or turn off the radio/TV the instant I hear him squeak. The other is George W. Bush. And his dancing looks silly, like he’s a gaudy Sicilian marionette being manipulated by a meth head. The way he dressed was also ridiculous, eccentric in a bad fashion way, because he was absolutely insane. And his infantilism made me embarrassed for him; I wanted someone to cover him up, to help him not be himself so much.
I don’t get vampires, either. I think it’s for the same reason I don’t really date guys from my socio-cultural background: effete and posh isn’t a turn-on. Add pale, slimy skin to that and I’ve got myself a stomach-churner every time I see one of those dudes bare his fangs, be he Alexander Skarsgård or not.