Tag Archives: Emporio Armani

Olive Oyl Dressing

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

You’ve probably heard that the traffic in Los Angeles can be, well, challenging at times.  More specifically, it sometimes makes me want to drive my car off a cliff but there are fortunately no cliffs between Beverly Hills and central Hollywood so the worst that could happen would be crashing over a hedge into the Ralph’s supermarket parking lot.  My evening commute was especially nightmarish last week with D.J. Kaskade’s Twitter-incited riots one day and Lady Gaga’s last minute outdoor concert the next, both shutting down the streets of Tinseltown and causing epic delays.

Project Runway's hotness of yesteryear Jack Mackenroth (Rick Day photo)

When I finally dragged my annoyed ass through the door the other night, it was a wonderful surprise to see that the new season of Project Runway was about to start.  I mixed a drink, lit the ivy-scented Diptyque “Lierre” candle, a gift from the fabulous Miss Fay of AmateurCouture.com, and settled in for the adventure.

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If You Dare Wear Short Shorts

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle Reader,

Are you sitting down?  If not, maybe you should be.  I have something to tell you.  You may have come to know me as an icon of taste and style over these past weeks but I have a terrible admission.  I’m not actually perfect.  For one thing, my left thumb bends a little crooked, the result of a nasty childhood break.  And that’s not the worst of it.  I am also recovering from an acute addiction problem.

The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint you, especially now that we’ve become so close.  If you think back over our history, we’ve been betrayed by Balmain together, dealt with trampy Housewives, and confronted drag as an art form.  You and I have even learned some tricks for the over-40 guy and gone on the lam from the damn mafia, so I feel I should be honest with you.  I’m just going to say it.  I was addicted to HGTV.

I don’t know how it started.  I can’t even remember which show I first watched on this seductive network but it was quickly followed by another and then another until HGTV was on whenever I was home.  You have to admit that Candice Olsen does very glamorous work with her gas fireplaces and crystal chandeliers.  David Bromstad designed great rooms in the Bay Area, especially when he wasn’t wearing his shirt, before he tanked on the Miami season.  Maybe he started wearing his shirt too much.

David Bromstad could really warm up a room without his shirt on. Then he put one on and went to Miami and... ho hum.

And don’t get me started on Sarah’s House!  Unbeknownst to them, I was involved a love triangle with Sarah and her witty sidekick Tommy, as they overhauled a sixties suburban split-level one season and then a Victorian farmhouse the next.   Continue reading

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