Tag Archives: Lanvin

A Girl Who Can’t Say No

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by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

You know, I’d planned to share my thoughts about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and its second season premiere this week because I’m geographically in the middle of all that shit.  I frequently run into Lisa Vanderpump and her husband and I could probably offer a good perspective on it all, but it was just too weird.  Reality shows should not come equipped with suicides so I’d really like us all to put on a smile and steer clear of the whole mess.

To cheer us all up, here’s a picture of my friend Justin Adamson.

Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, on the other hand, was something I was able to dig into with a clear conscience.  It may be silly and mindless but at least no one dies.  It was also the only thing on in prime time over the weekend that wasn’t a horror movie or politics, which is lately becoming its own kind of horror movie.  And don’t get me started on HGTV and their genius idea of putting House Hunters on an endless fucking loop.  Who said that was okay?

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Every Clown Has a Silly Lining

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by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

It took me a while to get around to finally seeing Bravo’s new show Million Dollar Decorators because the commercials for it were so awful.  It looks like a bunch of douches with dueling egos who don’t even know each other outside the show pretending to do some fake design projects for the benefit of the cameras.  Just name it “Real Housewives of Interior Design” and call it a fucking day.

What recession? The stars of Million Dollar Decorator have BUDGETS, baby.

The show actually begins Housewives-style with the five pretentious Los Angeles-based interior designers making grand pronouncements and then posing awkwardly while crossing their arms and stuff.  The attractive Jeffrey Alan Marks proclaims, “I don’t follow the trends, I set them!”  Well, he was attractive before he opened his damned mouth.  Continue reading

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Even Mob Wives Wear Lanvin

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by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Mob Wives?  Let me tell you, that is some serious shit.  I can’t believe I only caught the last fifteen minutes of the premiere episode.  Too many mimosas at brunch caused a glitch in my internal reality television clock that would normally alert me that it was on.  It was still long enough to know that these girls ain’t playin’.

The feral molls in fur from "Mob Wives" proudly rule the Staten Island boardwalk, while Lady Liberty quivers in the background.

When I tuned in, the ladies were in the midst of getting ready for Carla’s birthday party.  Though Renee looks a bit like a linebacker in an Anna May Wong wig, she informs us that she likes “getting dressed up, the glitz, the glamour, the high heels, the best of everything!”  We hear these words as she’s zipping up some black vinyl boots (two inch heels max!) and tying a big sparkly crystal necklace over what appears to be a purple sweatshirt from Wal-Mart.  I must say her eye shadow matches the sweatshirt perfectly. Continue reading

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