Tag Archives: Ohlalamag.com

The Meshuga Plum Fairy

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES | REVIEW

by James Killough

Even if you’re not in the film business, most people are conversant with how hard it is to deal with the studios when making a feature film.  Any given episode of Entourage is a slice-of-life peek into the morass of ego and fear and plain bad taste that is the development and production process.  But what is seldom examined is the darker corner of the film business, that mysterious tangle of dank, bat-filled caverns behind the studio walls, which has so bewildered so many unsuspecting filmmakers that some have disappeared forever in its mazes.  I am, of course, talking about Distribution.

I know, I've been running a lot of images of Michael Lewis lately, but this time he's completely relevant to the post. I promise.

The experience of having a movie released theatrically by a major distributor can sour even the most optimistic producer, who might still be in love with the business despite actually having made it as far as being able to show his oeuvre to the public, which is akin to winning a season of Survivor.  The accounting practices are legendary, especially the bit when they offset the losses from another film on the profits of yours if it’s a hit.  There are other traps, too, like that guarantee of a healthy market saturation of five hundred screens and a Christmas release, which is suddenly moved to February and dropped to five theaters.  What are you going to do?  Hire a litigator for a  minimum of $50,000 and go through the process of suing a studio? Continue reading

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Viggle Room

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES

by James Killough

“I used to think I had narcissistic personality disorder,” James Tuttle once commented to a post of mine on the subject.  “Then I discovered I just enjoyed being good-looking.”  Tuttle is not just good-looking.  In online parlance he is “VGL,” or Very Good-Looking, which from the early years of hooking up online I have been calling “viggle.”  This is because invariably some total tool who would refer to himself as VGL in his profile is not that at all, and is therefore worthy of ridicule.

If you ever need a dose of viggle, ohlalamag.com is the place to go. This detail is from a recent Dolce & Gabbana campaign, a.k.a. Me and My Boys (I wish).

Indeed, one of the first rules of online dating is that a guy is rarely the adjectives he uses to describe himself.  “Hot,” “sexy,” “hung” are common enough delusions/mendacious cacas, but my alarm bells sound loudest when some dude describes himself as “sane,” “normal,” “fun,” “smart,” or, worst of all, “cool.”  Continue reading

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Celebutards and Other Monsters

TUTTLE MODE

 by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

Join me as we scrape the bottom of the barrel that is reality television.  Yes, I’m talking about the festival of talentless reality show rejects known as VH1’s Famous Food and don’t pretend you’ve been watching it, either!  No one has.  The ratings were so low after only a couple of weeks that it’s getting bumped out of its Sunday slot in favor of Behind the Music.  Yeah, ouch.

Don’t worry, though.  I’m here to catch you up on the whole fabulous train wreck!

Enough with the reality crap. Just give Jake Pavleka his own game show, already.

The idea of the show is pretty straightforward.  A group of seven “celebrities” get thirty days or so to open a restaurant and the one who contributes the most gets a share in the place.  One of their first ideas these dumb bitches had was to “call the restaurant ‘Fame,’ because we’re all famous!” but I don’t know who half these people are.   Continue reading

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Objects In Mirror

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES

by James Killough

Now that we have this sort of informal alliance with Tuttle’s friends over at Ohlalamag.com, as a content creation shop, PFC has to comment on the effect they are having on our readership.  In a nutshell, Alek and Steph, the primary photographers and editors of that site and a few others, including Bello Mag, are some very powerful homo sapiens.  A mere sentence about us in their “Linkalicious” section will send hundreds swarming to this site.

They have something like over fourteen thousand unique hits a day.  That’s called pimpin’ your blogs, yo.

I was lost in the mass of male pulchritude on Ohlalamag, then I found Benjamin Godfre and I thought, "I'd hit that".... no, I mean, "I want that body." For more pix of Godfre, click on the image.

I keep thinking how disappointed Ohlalamag readers must be when they find few semi-naked male models here, but rather these dense, dark, snarky essays, peppered with lots of grotesquely large penises, still by far our biggest draw.

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Here Comes Santa Claus

THE KILLOUGH CHRONICLES

by James Killough

The moment I fell in love with my creative partner Rain Li was in the café of the Tate Britain museum when we were doing a location scout for our film Losing Her.  We were talking about The Business and she said, in that eminently imitable Chinese version of a cockney accent, “I don’t know why everyone take film so seriously, yeah?”

Little cartoon hearts could be seen exploding around my head.

Now that PFC is so cozy with Ohlalamag.com, the images of bare-chested hunks will come fast and furious. Here is my buddy, Israeli actor Michael Lewis, whom I cast to replace Channing Tatum in "Hatter," front and back. No relationship to this article, of course.

In between takes on the set the other day, I was reminded by an actor of one of my great lessons about ego and humility in The Business.  It goes without saying that filmmaking is where the big boys play, the high rollers table at the casino, the ones ready to lose millions on a roll of the dice, and probably will.  I often compare it to thoroughbred horseracing.  The stakes are high, the divas are nutty, the horses are extra skittish, and the mafia is all over the joint.

Continue reading

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