Stars Are Blind

TUTTLE MODE

by James Tuttle

Gentle reader,

For weeks people were asking me what I thought about this new Fashion Star show on NBC and, since it wasn’t on yet, I only had the billboards to go by.  Unfortunately, they are probably the worst outdoor advertisements to pop up around Los Angeles since those signs for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close that made me think it was a movie about a kid with too many fingers.

Fredric Johansson shows us how to do stars. (Ph: Mauritzio Montani)

Elle Macpherson looks like a botoxed blonde frog, Jessica Simpson is trying to freeze our brains with her intense stare and designer John Varvatos reminds me of the little guy in The Princess Bride who keeps shouting, “Inconceivable!”  And the fact that it’s so photoshopped that it’s basically a fucking painting makes the whole thing even more stupid because they could have easily painted a more descriptive and attractive ad for this show than some frozen white famous people floating in a peaceful cloud.